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The beginning of the summer we got a new car. A minivan. It was one of the hardest purchases I’ve ever made. I’ve always wanted to be a race car driver or a jet pilot you see. So buying a minivan just did not quite fit with my self image. But we have three kids and were completely out of room in my truck, so a minivan it was. Plus, I look forward to making the children drive a minivan when they first start driving. That’s where the real payoff will come.

We had a whole host of problems with the dealership during the purchase of this car however. They tried to screw us out of all kinds of things. The biggest of which was a new DVD for the GPS system. The fancy schmancy map and guide function was completely useless without it and the dealership was trying hard to wiggle out of buying us a new one.

In the midst of this fight, the kids and I went to Laurel’s house for a play date. It was the first time she’d seen my new ride and she went completely over the moon for it, pushing all the buttons and moving the seats back and forth. Until she heard the DVD story. Then she was livid. I think she actually stomped her foot a few times. And throughout our afternoon together she continued to seethe, on my behalf, that the dealership would have the audacity to try to screw us so completely over something so comparatively little. It was a good afternoon.

Now let me explain to you why this is such an important memory for me. Was it nice to have someone share my ire at being screwed over? Of course. Was it nice for my girlfriend to try to make me feel better about having to drive a minivan by making a big deal about all the bells and whistles? Absolutely. But what really made the difference for me was the fact that Laurel really understood the underlying angst of this purchase and wanted to try to alleviate that angst for me.

We had to file for bankruptcy about two years ago. We barely hung on through that by our fingernails. It was humiliating and hard and awful. And she was right there through the whole thing. Because we filed for bankruptcy and then two weeks later, my Dad was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. And she hugged me through that month with an astounding amount of strength.

And she watched us fight and claw our way back over the next year and a half to a point where we were at least less precarious if not completely stable. So when we were able to comfortably buy a new car, with all the bells and whistles, she knew it was party time. She fully understood how important that moment was to us. And to have someone try to tarnish that for us, for me, was just too much for her.

And that is what I loved the most about her. She very quietly made my battles and triumphs her own. She cried with me, she laughed with me (often through the tears), she screamed with me, she stomped her foot with me. She did everything she possibly could to make me feel like I was not alone through some of the hardest and happiest times of my life.

And that is, perhaps, what I will miss the very most.